I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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