he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
God, I missed his penis.
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