google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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