I hate your face
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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