I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
