I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
