Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
