"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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