Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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