They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
