I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
