its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
