no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
