He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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