Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
