I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
