Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
