My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need mimosas to revive my soul
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
