I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
