his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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