Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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