thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
