you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
NoShamevember. You game?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Everclear isn't food dammit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
