So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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