Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
