my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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