Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
