i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize