At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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