just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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