I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she looked like the before picture.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
