ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
