I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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