Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
