On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
