nut hugger
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
