NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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