When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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