shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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