Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
