found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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