Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
