Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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