I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
PANTIES FOUND
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