Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
