new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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