ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
