Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im holly from the hills drunk
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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