I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
