white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
