Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
