he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
