OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
