Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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