Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
