I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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