Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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