and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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